Reminders

I got up early this morning & went to seminary! Sister Smith asked me to tell that students about my mission. How I decided to go & what I gained from it. It was a HUGE blessing to be able to once again reflect & bare my testimony.

I went to work today. This wasn't the first time I went to work since I've been back but it is the first time that anything of consequence happened while I was there; or at least while I was traveling home.

The first thing that happened was, we were all sitting there minding our own business while the water aerobics class was going on and one of the guards runs back & telling us that a cop pulled his gun outside. What?! So of  course we all went to see. Weeelll we really didn't see all that much. Just the cop arresting some punk. But I walked back to my seat laughing because it just reminded me of how scary the cops are here and how un-scary the cops are in the UK. hehe

Then I started walking home. And all throughout the park there are young kids & not so young kids all playing football aka soccer. My mind was blown for a little while & in my head I was like "Wait...isn't this America? Shouldn't they all be playing baseball?" Yes they should but I decided to just relish in the fact that it looked like my home. Well the one on the other side of the world at least.

Playing football in the rain with the Elders

So I kept walking because I'm no good at football and I was really hungry. So I'm walking down the street minding my own business & BAM I see some hydrangeas. Now that's kinda silly don't you think? To notices some silly flowers. Well not when like everyone that lives in Scotland & Ireland has them & you've spent countless hours staring at them & trying to count how many different hues of purple/blue/pink they can be while tracting.

Why is any of this important? They are all just silly little things. But they remind me that Heavenly Father is aware of me. He is watching me & taking care of me. He loves me & knows my concerns & fears. All these little things about my mission remind me of the big things; like how He took care of everything when it felt like nothing was within my power to control. It reminds me that He is still in control & is still taking care of everything even though nothing is in my control. I'm so glad that He's taking care of my life. Whenever I try to take care of it it just turns into a big mess!

No Pain

A rainy day in Scotland

I'm sitting here trying to think what to write. Nothing. Don't you hate that? Nothing of consequence happened today. Oh besides the fact that my slave driver (aka my younger sister Rachel) made me get up at 8 & do P90X Cardio for the first time since I've been home. UGH. You would think that all that walking around in the rain on my mission might help with this whole working out thing, you know help me to not feel like I'm dying...nope. 

I guess its like they say. No pain....No gain. I like my old philosophy: No pain...no pain!

Andventure

I should be sleeping; but I've been trapped in the world of Hunger Games all day & the need to see how the series ends was greater then the need to sleep. I am addicted to them. It feels oddly like a relief to be so captivated by something so simple as books again. I'm sure lots of people think like this but I see everything in my head like my own personal movie. Because of this its extremely easy for me to get lost in my own little world...or a world that someone else makes up for me. I paint myself into the stories so tightly that it feels like real life. I love it.

There is on one problem with that. I have to come back out & into reality again.

In the Disney movie Beauty & the Beast; right after Gaston tries to get Belle to marry him she runs off into this field singing. I'm sure like a billion girls on the planet say this but the lyrics are what I feel when I get myself lost in the world of fantasy & have to come back out again.

She sings: "I want adventure in the great wide somewhere. I want it more then I can bare! And for once it might be grand, to have someone, understand. I want so much more then they've got planned."

That is me. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my life. I have a great one. I've been blessed more then I deserve! But sometimes (okay lots of the time) I sit back & think, life would be so fun if I was Katniss Everdeen, or Wanda (Stephanie Myers The Host) or even Hermione Granger. To live in a world that is filled with dangers & magic & things we've never dreamed of. Where good always wins.

Sometimes I hope that when I get to the Celestial Kingdom & gain the skill to build "worlds without number" that I'll be allowed to make worlds with wizards & universes with Jedi. And then I hope I get to go have adventures on them. I'm sure by the time I get to the CK though I'll be smarter then that & want different things.

I don't really know what the point of all this is tonight.  Maybe I just want people to see that I am bigger then they think I am. Though I'm probably the only one who thought I was small in the first place.

They say that life's what you make it. I guess its time for an adventure.

Don't Give Up

Today in Sacrament my father spoke about prayer and gaining a relationship with our Savior Jesus Christ. He started off talking about men from the New Testament, the rich young ruler & Peter, & spoke about how Peter had let the commandments help him know the Savior while the rich young ruler just obeyed the commandments.

And then he starts talking about Peter Anderson & I am transported. I am no longer in a chapel in California. I am walking home from the shopping center for lunch; my companion, Sister Oswald, is following close behind on the narrow  footpath. We are laughing like we always do. A man turns the corner; startling me a little.

"Can we give you a card sir?" Is the question that pops out of my mouth.
"Sure" comes the reply "What is it?"
"We are sharing how there is a prophet on earth today. Would that be important to you?" My approach is not very special. But the man, Peter Anderson accepts an appointment.

Sister Oswald & I 

I am in our tiny room. Laying on my bed trying to get rid of the headache that's been driving me crazy all week. Our joint teach Sister Green dropped us to go see Peter & I am frustrated. We've only gotten to see Peter once. Canceling on him could prove disastrous. So Sister Oswald makes the call as I listen carefully.  

"You've read all of 1st &2nd Nephi?!" Sister Oswald questions in awe. I sit bolt upright & lean closer.
"Wow that's amazing" is Sister Oswald's response. "Have you prayed about it?" I hold my breath during the pause. "Well I invite you to pray about what you have read Peter. I promise that the Lord will answer your prayers." And the conversation is ended.

And finally I land in a tiny apartment, sitting on a couch that threatens to eat if I sit back any further on it. I am listening is awe as Peter tells us his story. He read the Book of Mormon until 2 in the morning last night. He came to the conclusion that this book couldn't have been written by a 24 year old, uneducated, guy in upstate New York. So he did what he hadn't done in years. He got down on his knees & prayed. He asked Heavenly Father to forgive him us his sins & to let him know if the Book of Mormon was true.

Peter Anderson was baptized 3 weeks later. I was not there to see it. I was transferred; but Peter Anderson was our miracle.  Every missionary's dream. But for me he was more then that. Peter taught me about my Heavenly Father's love for His children. There is a quote; I don't know who said it "Heavenly Father will come as close as we are willing to let Him come." Peter Anderson spent YEARS running from our Heavenly Father. But not once, for one half of a second did Heavenly Father EVER give up on him.

And if we let Him, our LOVING Heavenly Father will be with us. Always.

<3 Becca Fisher

First Date!

So last night I had my first date since returning from my mission! The church is putting on a California wide YSA Conference this summer in August and as part of the conference they are having a bunch of summer activities for us; including three temple nights! 

So Derek Smith took me to dinner & then the temple for the YSA night! It was SUPER fun to spend time with my friend & to talk about our missions & such! Of course it felt a little awkward. The first time alone with a boy in a year & a half...kinda scary! But things went well...mostly because we are both RM's and we pretty much talked about our missions the whole time! If it had been anyone else I might've died of fright & awkwardness! 

We went to Wahoo's Fish Tacos! YUM! Well before that we got stuck in traffic on the 405 & then missed our exit because we were stuck in the car pool lane & then were slightly lost because the GPS took us to a different Wahoo's. Good times! :)

And then of course the temple was amazing! It was Derek's first time at LA temple & the biggest secession I've ever been too! It was really neat! And the Spirit was very strong. I love it there in the temple. So many things to learn & experience & feel! Mostly I just love that Heavenly Father loves us enough to give us temples. On my mission I met lots of Born-Again Christians. Don't get me wrong I love them & so does Heavenly Father, but I just don't really get their logic. Anyway near the end of my mission I met a lovely Born-Again couple & I think they are from the States but I could be too sure. But we got talking to them & I just kept getting the feeling that all they thought of God was that He was God & in charge. While that is true He is sooo much more then God! He is our Father!And He loves us with a PERFECT love! I kept trying to bare testimony that we can change & that we can become better through the Atonement of Jesus Christ but they didn't understand how God could want us to become like Him! SO I am grateful for the knowledge that the Heavenly Father WANTS  me to become like Him and for giving us temples which are one of the things (probably the greatest thing) that helps us to become like Him. 

So...do I still sound like a missionary? ;)

<3 Sister Becca Fisher

According to Plan

Oooook! So I've not been posting because, well I don't really have an excuse except for I've been SUPER  distracted by trying to catch up on some TV shows! haha!

Also things haven't really gone according to plan thus far coming home. (When do they ever go according to plan?) BUT tonight I got a HUGE blessing from my Father in Heaven. I can't tell you all the details because I don't know whose eyes see this but lets just say ahhh!!! SOOO excited right now!

That is something I LOVE so much about Heavenly Father. If we just TRUST Him, He will take care of everything for us! And I know that even if things don't turn out the way I want them to then He has something better in mind. Because He loves me & He knows whats best for me. So I will continue to trust.

<3 Becca Fisher

For Forever!

Good day today blogger world! It started out that I went to a CPR/First Aid class to be certified so I can work at the pool this summer! Whoot whoot!

Then I wrote my talk for tomorrow. Its all about Gratitude & you'll have to wait along with everyone else to see what I have to say about that but in the mean time I like this video =]

This evening I went to the Lakewood 3rd Ward Young Women Camp Fundraiser. Country Western was the theme! They fed us dinner & we had quarter games &  line dancing & pictures & all kinds of fun stuff! It was a BRILLIANT party! The YW did such a good job. The decorations were perfect & everyone had fun! I loved seeing the Dads all get up & play the quarter games that were meant for the kids.

That is one of the reasons why I love this church. We can all be ourselves; well most of the time. No one is perfect. But in this ward we can usually be ourselves. They are like my big extended family just as those who I met on my mission are...and I cannot wait for everyone to meet when we get to the Celestial Kingdom its going to be one party!

So that is what I am most grateful for tonight. Good food, good friends, amazing family & the chance to have them all for forever!

<3 Becca Fisher

Blah Blah Blah

Again I am sorry I didn't post yesterday buuuttt this time I have a good excuse! My good friend Elder Derek Smith got home from his mission yesterday, so I used my blogging time to talk to him on the phone =P He left about 6 months before I did & served faithfully in the Missouri, St. Louis Mission! He's the BEST! We had a lovely conversation about our missions & how awkward it is to be home. I'm super glad he's home because now I have someone to be awkward with! It'll be much more fun then doing it all by myself.

I'm sitting here trying to decide what I did the past two days that was exciting.

OH Rachel took me shopping on Thursday. So I was pretty excited at first & then about 30 minutes into our shopping extravaganza I realized that this was NOT as fun as I remember it being. And so I'm wandering around the store trying to figure out why I feel so dang awkward & the only cute things I can find are skirts or dresses when it hits me. The fashion is WAY different here!! All the things that I had been planning on wearing when I got home don't exist here! And that makes me super grateful for online shopping!

But anyway I got this awesome pair of black heels because...well if you think really hard & cock your head to one side I need new black dress shoes! :)

Today I tried to write my homecoming talk. Its on gratitude & I'm pretty sure that I read about a bajillion talks on gratitude today. Am I any closer to knowing what to say then I was this morning? Nope. I'm sure I'll figure it out.

But for now its bed time! loves!

<3 Becca Fisher

Decided

It has been a good productive day today! I woke up early and went to the dentist. Oh how I HATE that place. I want to run every time my mother says I have to go. But I did it and I didn't die...this time.

After the dentist I rushed off to have a job interview with Macy's. Can I just say right now that missions help with EVERYTHING! Seriously every question could be answered by something that I did on my mission. And I could totally tell that the interviewer was pleased with the answers that I gave! I didn't get the job because they'd already filled the position but the put me on "the bench" and are going to call me if they need me for something else! Overall I'm a little bummed that I didn't get it but I know that I did everything that I can and the Lord will take care of me.

Random...I mentioned to the lady that I had only  been back like two weeks & in my head I was thinking "wow its only been that long?" It feels like AGES since I got back. Its a little strange; when you're on the mission everything else in the past feels like it wasn't real, like it was only a dream. But now that I'm home it feels like the mission was a dream. But don't worry I've got the pictures to prove that it was real!

Lets see other then that I just went to Young Women to help out Mom do some dances with the girls for their fundraiser it was lots of fun & made me miss being young & in the mutual program. It was so much fun!

Rachel got home today & I'm excited because that means I've got more to do! Also SUPER excited for my very good friend Elder Derek Smith to get home from his mission tomorrow!! Its going to be an AWESOME summer...I just decided!

<3 Becca Fisher

Closet Nerd

So I'm not as good at this as I wanted to be but after the feelings I've had this last weekend I decided to cheer myself up the old fashioned way. First I said lots of prayers...yep that worked pretty well. BUT there's not a lot of things going on around this join as of right now sooo I decided to gorge myself on movies to keep my mind occupied. So I went to redbox first & then across the street to my neighbors who basically have their own movie store in their cupboard they have so many movies. And I've now completed Thor, Breaking Dawn Part 1, and Harry Potters 7.1&2!!! *Squeal*

Internet people...I hope you all appreciate what I am about to tell you right now because up until this point I've been able to keep this a secret from the world; but I am a nerd. Like a HUGE nerd. Not only am I the type of girl that dreams about being IN Harry Potter or Twilight...but I actually write it all down! I also get all giddy every time I read or watch pretty much ANYTHING to do with fantasy!

So there you are world I am coming out. I am a NERD! And proud of it! (I mean come on Harry Potter came out when I was in 6th grade...I grew up with him! I'm totally allowed to love it!)

And world I've found a NEW obsession...The Hunger Games. And I know that they aren't new to you...but they are new to me! Now there is only one problem...how do I write myself into a book where only 24 characters can get in on the real action & all those spots are already filled? This is going to take some thinking...

<3 Becca Fisher

Where Faith Comes In

I'm sorry that I've not posted everyday this weekend. I've been mucho tired. So here's a recap:

Friday: The day was kinda boring. But I did receive a miracle! I've been spending just about ALL my time filling out online applications to anywhere that is hiring and I got an email from Macy's to schedule an interview!! Woo hoo! So I am going in on the 16th of May so everyone pray for me that I can get this job because I REALLY need the money!

Then that night I went dancing with Lori! Of course its the first time since I've come home & I prepared myself (mentally) aaaallll day so that I wouldn't be awkward & I must say that I am happy that I wasn't! The only awkward thing was the two boys that asked me to dance! I was glad that they were the awkward ones & not me! But it was nice of them to ask me to dance. Anyway the dance was SO much FUN! It felt just like old times except that I barely knew anyone, but Lori & I don't really care about that anyway! Also I got to see one of my MTC companions Sister Lomiga! It was AWESOME to see her again!

Saturday: Basically cleaned all day long. Also I finally started The Hunger Games... yep I'm already addicted & sure to have the book done by Wednesday when Rachel (my sister) gets home just in time to go see the movie!

Today: Sunday. Mother's Day. Depressed. Don't know why. We went to church as always. I got to play with wee Penny. She is maybe one yrs old. And she is beautiful! In Relief Society we had a really good lesson about  prayer...that's what I miss the most about a mission I think. There I was formally talking to my Heavenly  Father like ALL the time. About everything. And I know that I can here as well...I guess I just don't know what to talk about anymore. Also there was an investigator there. Her name is Tamera & she is getting baptized on the 26th of May. She is amazing. She told her story of how she just felt & knew that this was the place that she was supposed to be but she didn't know how she knew. The teacher (who also happened to be my former YW leader & YSA leader & one of my best friends) called on me to answer. I was so grateful. I needed that. So I explained to her about the Holy Ghost & how it feels & testified that it was from a loving Heavenly Father. The Spirit was strong there. I cried after I taught. What wouldn't I give to be back in my sweet sweet Scotland & Ireland. Tonight there is nothing I wouldn't give. I miss it.

And then as if it is scripted my mother comes into my room tonight & reveals to me the source of my sorrow. My brother Matthew has a girlfriend & yesterday on skype they were reading scriptures together. My mother came in to prep me just in case this means wedding bells. She told me all the things a mother should. You're an amazing woman, you've had so many great experiences, you've have so many blessings, just trust in the Lord's timing. She tells me about all the brave women who are not married & how big of spiritual giants they are. She tells me about all the woman who had to wait until their 40's to get married but look at the amazing men they got! One got an apostle. I understand all of that. Don't get me wrong I love my mother. SO much & I know that she truly believes that I will get married. She is just doing her job. I also understand that there is NOTHING wrong with the women in this church who aren't able to get married or are asked to have patience in the Lord. And I know that they are soo blessed because of their faith. But I do not want to be one of them.

Sometimes I feel as though my dream of having my own family is right at the tips of my fingers. But more often then not I feel as if it is a world away. And most of the time I just try to laugh it off & say "well who wants to get married young anyway? You can't do everything you want; like live in New York or backpack around Europe if you get married soon." But I would trade all of that any day.

I'm sorry that this entry has turned into somewhat of a pity party. I do want to put my trust in the Lord. I know that one day I will get to enter into this house & be sealed with the love of my life...it's just a mannter of patience.

 I know that He will bless me with the desires of my heart. I have been promised that many times. I guess that's where faith comes in.

<3 Becca Fisher

Loser Like Me

Oh what a day. Do you know how exhausting it is to type you address, phone number & all your previous employers like a billion times? Well...not a billion times but it sure felt like it. Anyway I'm sure that it will pay off when I get a job.

Lets see...that is pretty much all that I did today; fill out applications online that is.

Tonight my brother & I met the YSA at the institute to head up to the temple to do baptisms for the dead (http://mormon.org/faq/baptism-for-the-dead/#answers). The temple of course was AMAZING! It always is. It was especially cool for me b/c I was able to help out since I am endowed now.

I had a special experience. Before we actually got to the temple I was feeling a little down. We got to the institute & we sat there...barely anyone said a word to us. I decided that I was in fact a loser. (A word & status I currently dread because I've been trying to catch up on some Glee). I kept feeling that way as two guys hopped in the car with us & I could think of NOTHING to "small talk" about except for missions since one just got back about 3 months ago & one just got his call to Chile. And I kept feeling that way as the young, flirty, trendy, super hot 18 year old girls looked at me with eyes of pity when we arrived at the temple & finally introduced themselves.

Well I kept feeling this way for a little while as I got changed into my white dress & started to help out the temple workers. But then there was this girl...she had been baptized in November, engaged in April, & it was her first time coming to the temple. I was able to talk to her. I mean of course I was "Sister Fisher" came back to life for a little while. But then I was able to talk to the other girls...mostly still about my mission but it felt different then it has the past week. More like a real conversation instead of an interview. And then like the snap of a finger my confidence was back. And I realized that I am not a loser. Well maybe I am but hey i am TOTALLY okay with that! We've all got a little loser in us don't we?! Whats more I LOVE  the person I have become because of my mission and I am NOT going back. And I know that it was Heavenly Father who taught me, well reminded me really, of that tonight.

Soooo I know that probably no one REALLY thinks I'm a loser...but I'm not stupid, I used to make fun of the Awkward RM's as well. So this song is for all those people out there who might think that I am loser.

Lessons Learned

I learned some things about myself today.

One: I am a pretty good pretender. I had to go to the Doctors today to get a physical & a TB test. Since I've been gone we've gotten a new insurance plan & therefore a new doctor. A man doctor. I've never met this man before...want to freak out an RM just make her go get a physical. Not only did I have to sit in the room for like 30 minutes by myself BUT then this doctor was doing his doctor thing & checking my stomach stuff, meaning he had to touch me. I was kinda freaking out inside. And then he looks at me & goes "You look very relaxed" LOL either this guy is clueless or very sarcastic...or like I said I'm a good pretender

Two: I'm still pretty awkward. I went to institute tonight; which was fine except there were people there who expected me to talk to them! LOL I just dont know how to do small talk anymore...but I'm sure I'll get over that right?!! Please? Though I must say I know why its soo awkward for an RM to try & make small talk. We've got NO CLUE about what's been happening in the world for the past 18/24 months. All around me I hear people talking about the latest movie or their favorite new song...I don't know about any of those things so what the flip do I talk about?! My new favorite scripture?

Anyway I officially started  the search for a 2nd job. I also sorted some stuff out for school; where I'll be living & such. I am looking forward to the future.

In institute tonight Brother Johnson talked a lot about trusting the the Lord. I know that if I just keep putting my trust in my Heavenly Father that He will take care of me. I feel like this entry sound like complaints but I want you all to know that I LOVE  my life! The Lord has truly blessed me & all these experiences that I am having mostly I think that they are just funny but even the ones I dont I know its all just part of this ride we call life & if I just keep trusting then My Heavenly Father & Saviour Jesus Christ will make sure there is a "happily ever after" waiting for me at the end of this roller coaster!

<3 Becca Fisher

Mission Nerd

This morning, like every morning, the alarm went off at 6:30am. But this morning I did something I haven't done in a little over 18 months...I ignored it. Yep that's right I hit dismiss and went back to sleep for a whole extra 30 minutes! I felt like a rebel...oh man I'm a mission nerd.

This afternoon I got to talk to two of my best friends in the entire world!

Me & Stephanie (we've been friends since like 2nd grade!)

Me & Andee (my very first college roommate!)

They are SOOO amazing! 

Then I did the unthinkable. I went to the library...BY MYSELF! It was the weirdest thing, being alone. Half of me rejoiced & the other half wanted to run back into the house in terror. But I forced myself to walk to the library & I survived (obviously). Though I did almost get hit by a car since I am used to looking "left, right, left" when trying to cross the street rather then "right, left, right". Where is a companion when you need one?! I also almost stopped a lady on the street to talk to her about the gospel...yep mission nerd. 

<3 Becca Fisher

First Weekend

Well hello there everyone. So I am a little late at starting this blog...I wanted to start it with "Day One" of being an RM but with all the family and things it didn't get done so you're going to have to be satisfied with the "First Weekend"

And what an amazing weekend it has been. It started out of course at the airport where all my family were waiting for me! Everyone was crying (well just Mom & Dad & Me really) and I got to hug my brother, Matthew, for the first time in nearly three years. And I was able to meet little Sadie Rae (my niece) for the first time ever. It was a happy reunion & TOTALLY worth the 20 hours of travel that I had to do to get there! That night my Aunt Judy & Uncle Jonathon came to surprise me!

For the rest of the weekend we basically just hung out at home. We played lots of games (you'll being to see that this is a HUGE tradition in my family...playing games that is. Its like ALL we do!)

We were able to go to the Los Angeles Temple as a family & two miracles occurred. #1: I was the ONLY one who got to do the temple work for a sister from England...I know its not technically my mission but its close enough for me. #2: After the secession we were able to do some sealings and one of the first neams that was read was "Griffiths". To me it was just a little tender mercy from my Heavenly Father.

Saturday my parents threw a Homecoming Party for me & that was a lot of fun. I realized that I really am awkward!! I really didn't know what to say to anyone after the initial "How was your mission?"

And last but not least I got to Skype one of my best friends/ former roommate Kris Ward! It was SOOOO good to talk to her  & see her again! This is seriously the BEST part about being home...getting to see & talk to all the people that I missed! It makes me excited to get to heaven where I can be with EVERYONE  that I love!

<3 Becca Fisher